With Christmas coming up soon, I've been pretty stressed out to be honest.
Everybody always said Christmas was stressful when I was a kid but I obviously didn't know fully what they meant because I was that kid getting presents from my parents and enjoying the day but as I got older, I noticed it wasn't as fun anymore.
For the past few years I've not looked forward to December 25th for a few different reasons. Firstly, I spent a few years without my parents and sister around and the thought of spending Christmas without them always hurt. Now, I have them in my life again and so that part is better for sure, however, I now have my own flat with my partner where we have to find the money to pay all the bills, buy food and electric and that's hard enough without having to also fork out for Christmas dinner and a presents or two.
This year is defiantly not going to be easy and we might not be able to get presents for our loved ones which again, hurts me deeply. I love giving to people even if it seems like I don't do it a lot... That's only because I can't afford to.
This is the first year I'll be spending Christmas in my flat with my partner which means it's also the first year I'll be trying to cook a Christmas dinner by myself. Hopefully I'll succeed in making the dinner as well as making it a fairly good day in general... But I feel very stressed about it all and I'm not sure how to calm myself down. I always stress, even when there's nothing to stress about.
For now, it's still November and I'm a big believer in the Christmas period not starting until December 1st.
Here's to a good Christmas... Or at least one that isn't awful. xD
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